My Misadventures In the Sack


One night not long after I moved into my house, I retired to bed early because it was cold and I wanted to catch up on last week’s TV. In the middle of Supernatural.


For weeks the bed had been sagging in the middle and nothing I tried fixed that, but I assumed it was the mattress. Nope. I got up and slipped on my slippers and robe before stripping the bed and wrestling the mattress off. My bedroom is very small and having the mattress flat beside the bed pretty much takes up all the floor space. I got it propped against the dresser and went to move the box spring. I have a split because a full wouldn’t fit up the stairs. I picked up the first half and swung it around to prop in front of the mattress when


I hit the light fixture, smashing it. Glass rained down on my head in shards and splinters and I was grateful that I thought to put on my slippers. I had to work my way out the door, which was mostly blocked by mattress and box spring, to throw away the glass. The slats had worked loose because I failed to screw them down. At the time I decided they didn’t need to be screwed down despite what the instructions said.

I ran down to the basement for the tool bag, because I had actually put it away the last time I used it. (I know, shocking.) The adjustable feet in the middle of the slats were now too tall and had to be readjusted, then the slats had to be screwed down. As I crawled around in my nightgown doing this, I noticed a red spot on the floor. Fresh blood. I’ve actually done more damage shaving my legs, but it highlighted the fact that I didn’t clean up the glass as well as I thought I had. So I spent a few minutes hunting for glass with my hands and a towel as I couldn’t get the vacuum in the room past the mattress. Then I finished screwing the slats in place, replaced the box springs without breaking anything else, wrestled the mattress on, remade the bed and crawled back under the covers to finish watching Supernatural.

Lucky for me it wasn’t a scary episode.


One thought on “My Misadventures In the Sack

  1. I have to admit that when reading the title of this post I was lifting eyebrows. However, at this point I’m shaking my head. But not until after having laughed half way through the post. At first I was envisioning Johnny Depp falling deep into the middle of the bed as he did in Nightmare On Elm Street. Now I am feeling pity as I close with this remark. You really should be more careful! 😉

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